I was on the Red Line last weekend and when I glanced at the safety poster it seemed a bit off. Another look revealed that the poster had been vandalized! Someone had made their own stickers of the images and superimposed them over the images on the poster. ( Here they are: )

Mark and I are in the middle of NE on our way to WY. While the weather is not as crappy as what's going on in OK, wow,still pretty crappy. I opened the car door at the gas station and couldn't close it due to the wind. Seriously, it took all my strength and three tries to close it. It was close to whiteout conditions earlier, but we're about through the worst of it. I drove all of it - I'm all proud of myself. Now Mark is driving so I can nap.

Tally ho!

Elliot and I were driving back from a birthday party. One of the things in the gift bag  was a necklace that flashed red and blue so, of course, he turned it on just after I turned a corner. Red and blue lights flashing in my peripheral vision triggered the dammit-I'm-getting-a-ticket instinct.

Me: What the hell did I do?
Elliot: What?
Me: Oh, it's your toy. I thought the police were pulling me over.
Elliot: Really?
Me: The lights. Couldn't figure out what I did wrong.
Elliot: If it was the police, I know one reason they would pull you over.
Me: What's that?
Elliot: One of the back lights on your car isn't working right. It was flashing when you turned.

Nice Simpsons reference, Boo. Well played.

L@@K at the extraordinary X-mas card Troy made for me designed out of 45 sleeves.



There is nothing greater than being loved by someone extra special.

Uh. Holy crap. We're driving to Wyoming in two days and I haven't done laundry, cleaned the house, paid bills, or ANYTHING.

Or taken a shower today, but that's going to happen in a minute.

This cold and the constant morning-to-early-afternoon cold hangovers and feelings of general unwellness can go suck it. If I'm going to feel hungover, I at least want to have a good time the night before.

My crazy dogwalker Melodee had clean hair that was braided and painted fingernails today. She looked put together enough (for Melodee). But she did spend half an hour in the sunroom mumbling to herself, so I suppose she's still crazy. At least she's in a good mood. We need to go to PetsMart tonight to get her dogs some dog food and treats. Christmas and all. She gets a week's pay as a bonus. Maybe I'll even put the check in a Christmas card. Good thinking.

NO, I will not take any more DayQuil or Afrin or sinus stuff. Dang it. Go away, cold!

My poor sister-in-law. The Air Force started my brother's latest deployment early and now they're ending it late. Which isn't unusual. But, this time, they're ending it late with a style they hadn't yet shown for any of his other deployments.

He was scheduled to come home early this month but there was a delay because no one scheduled the plane to bring home the unit.

Another plane gets scheduled but maintenance issues prevented it from picking them up.

Everyone gets orders and authorizations to take civilian flights home. Except Chad. Somehow, he was the only one who didn't get the authorization added to his orders so he's on his way to BWI (Maryland) and it's up to him to find his way to Valdosta (Georgia). And he's travelling on December 23rd.

I know Chad is probably pissed off and frustrated, too, but at least he can look forward to taking his frustration out on someone's ass. Kehau and the kids don't get to yell at anybody for the epic logistics failure.

And I know he'll just catch a flight to a nearby airport (Southwest still has reasonable rates to Jacksonville) but I can't help imagining some wild, two-day trip filled with zany misadventures and slapstick hilarity.

ETA: I suppose we should be grateful the Air Force managed to get him 100% of the way to Iraq and 90% of the way home. Can you imagine how much it would suck if they reversed it and he was on the hook for figuring out how to travel that last 10% so he could go play war?

This is my son's cousin. She may have run away, but we don't know that for sure. The police are treating her as a runaway so there is no Amber Alert. If you have seen this girl and have any information please contact the Chicago police at (312)747-8274. Or if you are just willing to spread the link, please feel free to do so. She's a kid and we're worried about her. Thank you.

Enhance that photo!

1. I'm listening to Slaughterhouse Five on audiobook. It's read by Ethan Hawke. He sucks. He should not be allowed to do audiobooks. He's making one of my favorite books boring.

2. I was looking at other Vonnegut audiobooks and one of them (God Bless You Mr. Rosewater) is read by Eric Summerer, who is the co-host of The Dice Tower, which is one of the boardgaming podcasts that I listen to.

3. As a rule, I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but I might change that this year. What's more important than making the resolution is coming up with a plan to achieve the resolution, because I remember reading something that says that people are, like, a billion times more likely to achieve a goal if they write it down and develop a plan. The resolutions will be: Lose 60 pounds, complete my German lessons, Study and play more bridge (I have to come up with a way to measure this), log all boardgames played like I used to, and get better at keeping on top of reports and such at work.

4. I also want to work with Susan to buy a whole steer and a whole hog by the end of 2010. This will require us to get a bigger freezer, but I think it will be good for (a) our pocketbook, (b) our desire to eat more cruelty-free, and (c) my desire to cook things I've never cooked before. I read an estimate of $1826 for a whole steer (420 pounds of meat) and $564 for a whole hog (165 pounds meat).

5. I'm looking forward to our impending journey to Wyoming for Christmas. Booford is going to have a blast, unless he hates it.

Every few months I'll hit up the Vice Mag Dos and Don'ts page for lunchtime reading, rather than RSS feeds about programming/XML/DITA or the NY Times.



[caption] I would give anything to hear what this conversation between a womyn’s-literary-group president and Vicious D. Slim Rock is all about. How much they both love pussy?

Made my day, that did.

I feel like crap on a cracker. My entire head is visibly leaking fluid, it seems. Eyes, nose, even my ears feel all fluid-swollen. The only part that's dry is my mouth because I am a total mouth-breather today. I'm stupid like a mouth-breather too, because my brain isn't working.

The worst part is that I'm in the office too, so I can't even wear comfy flannel pajamas and sweat it out. This whole being freezing and then being way too hot is driving me bonkers.

Wah wah wah bitch moan cry whine. C'mon, body! I fill you full up with beets, squashes, red wine, dark chocolate, blueberries all the darn time. Go go antioxidants. Cripes.

This is apparently a new show on BBC Channel Four called "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret". It stars David Cross and Will Arnett, both of "Arrested Development". I HOPE TO GOD that someone picks it up in the USA, because it sounds like a brilliant idea.

My youngest son Tyler just received a response to his Early Decision application to Reed College.

It's been a tense time, maybe even more so for me than him, because *I* worry about what NOT getting in would do to him...

BUT OMG! He got in! He's going to Reed. 1st Choice! Early Decision!

It was the last meeting of the...meetings...yesterday early afternoon. I stood up to get my things, which thankfully were behind me and away from the person I was with. I bent forward a little and my nose literally dripped. Not mucus or anything (too) gross, but a drip. I was horrified. Was there a drop on my nose all this time I was talking? Was I getting sick? I didn't feel sick.

That will teach me to think I could skate away for years and years without catching a seasonal cold. I am one big ache and pain today, all sneezy and congested. I don't feel like I've been hit by a truck and I'm not coughing, so I doubt it's H1N1. It's a garden-variety cold.

The good part about it was I couldn't sleep because of the stuffiness and the not breathing part. Since I wasn't sleeping, I started work at 5:30 a.m. this morning. It's 3:17 p.m. now, so I think I'm done for the day. I'm off to doze away the sickness.

everyday mary poppins

So I'm reading. Maybe way back. (pretty much it depends on how often you post, because I'm reading by INDIVIDUAL. So far.)

So if you get a comment from me and you're like, Dude. That was a problem at HALLOWEEN, that's why.

Yes, I did just quote the O'Jays. Yes, I've listened to the O'Jays. Go fuck yourself.

Okay, seriously, does anybody like Joe Lieberman? I'm not one of those (mostly) liberals who doesn't have any right-wing friends - I have plenty. I have plenty of left wing friends, and more than my share of libertarians and independents.

I don't know anyone who likes Joe Lieberman. This attention-whoring, vitamin-D deficient little prick appears to be universally despised but tolerated like the douchebag in college who's popular for reasons nobody seems to remember, buys everyone's drinks often enough not to be disregarded, and spends the rest of his time making up problems just so he can be the one to solve them, and playing it off as a hallmark of independent thought. Subtle differences, Dick-Lips! Close, but no cigar.

The solution for an ineffective douchebag, in my physician's desk reference, is a stronger prescription: a shotgun enema. What's the copay on that, motherfucker?

Just when I think I have wrung every ounce of love from my tired body and my aching heart,

he's here.

And suddenly I'm full again. Bursting at the seeps, steeped in love and sharing without thought. Step after step it sloshes out and over those around me, leaving red shiny heart footprints in my wake.

And I'm gonna be alright, and you're gonna be alright, you ain't gotta hold my hand, just walk with me tonight.